Chauffeuring a colony of ants - Zach Porter

When I went to pick up my car a few weeks ago from the shop I paid the good man, cranked the engine and floored it out of the lot and on down the highway, sun setting behind me and all that. My transmission was fixed and my car shifted down the road with the greatest of ease. I had my car back and I felt like a prisoner freed from his cell. But. And you know there had to be a "but," or a "when all of the sudden" to dampen the mood we had going here thus far. So like I said, I was driving along, (dramatic pause for three seconds here) when all of the sudden I saw the ants. They were all over the car, crawling, colonizing, marching in line, being ants.

Since then I have waged war against the ants, hunting them out in dark corners and spaces of my vehicle that I did not know existed, or at least were accessible. I followed their trail around the car to their massive staging area beneath the carpet, below the rear seats. I quickly drenched them in an excessive stream of ant killer chemistry and vacuumed the poor devils up. I thought I killed the sorry lot of them on the first round but they have since come back, albeit in small numbers on the dashboard and the driver's side door. Strays I suppose, or perhaps the women and children who where saved from the first go round.