Some of you will be reading these words before, some during and several after Thanksgiving Day (like the old British Empire, the sun never sets on this column.) So, we need to set some ground rules: Let’s remember to express our thanks on days other than when our mouths are stuffed with turkey parts.The problem is that we usually don’t do so on the other 364 days a year (OK, 365 on a leap year. Some of you can be so picky) because we are too busy complaining about the weather, politics, our aches and pains, robocalls, inconsiderate drivers and/or the price of something or other.

Thanks is a good word because it acknowledges that we can’t make it by ourselves.

So what is step one in addressing this destructive societal dilemma of division? For me, the suggestion is kindness.

We all have our ups and downs, our better days and our rough days. Everyone of us serves time with our own version of the blues.

It is so much easier to remain in our self-pity. It is so much easier to cling to our problems. It is so much easier to give up and succumb to the odds.

Two months after her heroic husband was killed on United Flight 93, Lisa Beamer was asked to say a few words at a Women of Faith Conference in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You remember that Lisa was the 32-year-old widow of Todd Beamer, who was one of those killed trying to overcome the terrorists on September 11, 2001.

When I was born to my parents – late in life, folks used to like to say – they had a college freshman, a high school student and one in seventh grade.

First, in the aftermath of these horrific shootings, finger-pointing is not helpful and only more divisive.

Sometimes it takes a long time before you’re able to pay forward a kindness. This one took me 12 years to repay.

Before going any further, let me say that success means different things to different people.

This past Christmas Eve, we had just returned from a candlelight church service back to the Peabody Hotel in Memphis to have dinner at the hotel’s Italian restaurant, Cappacio’s.

So often we Americans celebrate the Fourth of July with hot dogs, hamburgers, pizzas, homemade ice cream and family get-togethers. We hear speeches or read articles with some mention of liberty, justice and the American way. We watch or participate in such things as road races or other special contests.

Loving America does not mean that we ignore her faults, past or present. It does not mean that we are unaware of her inequalities or injustices that must be challenged and changed.

Simply stated, I cannot over-emphasize the critical nature of listening to the building of authentic relationships.

So how do we come to love ourselves and overcome our feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and worthlessness?

In a couple of weeks, along with numerous others, she will reach the monumental milestone of becoming a high school graduate.

Isaiah the prophet reminds us of how we can live wisely and well in the midst of continuous strain (tensions).

Countless people who have learned how to keep going report that at least one of the ingredients for endurance is the understanding of the meaning of one’s life.

It ruins health. It demolishes peace at home. It leads to violence. It prompts open crime. It turns love into hatred.

It is important that we people of faith be clear that human tragedy is not the will of God.


I am glad I was in Africa while my brothers and sisters in the once united Methodist Church were cutting one another to shreds at the recent general conference in St. Louis. I am glad that I only caught glimpses of the terrible things that people representing Jesus Christ were saying about one another in the name of love and unity.

A year may start happily and end wretchedly. A career may start with a blaze of glory and end with an embarrassing thud.

For sure, we are a nation under stress. We are a tension-ridden people who take aspirin for our headaches, tranquilizers for our nerves and sleeping pills to make us sleep. And so much of this “medicine” is being taken to alleviate tension or stress.

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